i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
