Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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