I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
