i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Even my vagina gasped.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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