You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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