I'm jealous of your bromance
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
