What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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