Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize