just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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