Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
