he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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