your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
