I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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