Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she smelled like a LAN party
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
