Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
