I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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