and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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