Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry imadenacct4this hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(432): View more from Texas

"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.

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(916): View more from California

The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.

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(714): View more from California

There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?

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(317): View more from Indiana

The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.

(616): View more from Michigan

Already at 3 and it's not even noon.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.

Fav 1 52 4
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(727): View more from Florida

The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.

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