i need an iv and a liver transplant
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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