How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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