her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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