found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
