This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
