Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize