We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
