areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
