cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
