dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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