I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
