Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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