tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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