i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
