they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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