I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
