Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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