3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Alive.
So much puke
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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