I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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