Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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