he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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