I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
