'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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