You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
