Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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