Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
