We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize