Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
