stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
