i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
