So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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