I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
