she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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