I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
