IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
