i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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