You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
