ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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