I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
