Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
